jokes thatll make u laugh

1.)2 guys walk into a bar..........ouch.
2.)how do you no if a blondes having a bad day?? becuase she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
3.)why did the blonde take her ladders to the bar?...she heard there where drinks on the house.
4.)a tourtouise walks into a bar and says can i have 2 pints. one for me and one for meshell
5.) whats wourse then letting micheal jacson taking ur kids to school?? leting the mcanns take em on holiday
6.)whats the difference between maddline mcann nd football...FOOTBALL'S COMMING HOME
7.)you heard the joke about the wall??? you never get over it
8.)whats the worst vegetable you could have on a bout... a leak
9.)you heard the joke about the pencil... u never get the point..
10.)three gays called me,me and me 2 get shot whos left?
11.) you heard about the 300,000 people that went missing.. ya mom only wanted a snack
12.)what did the one blonde leg say to the other.... between me and you well make alot of money
13.)what did the red traffic light say to the green traffic light.... don't look im changing
14.)what do u call a green man sitting in the corner... the incredible sulk
15.)what do you call to black men lying in the middle of the road...twiggs
16.)where do wifes. leave there arseholes when haveing orgazms.. at home with the kids

pfffffft no offense to any one who is but here i go

what do u call an asian who just come out of hospital from 3rd dagree burns sindgit
what do you call a asian carpenter amedmeshed
what do you call an asain in between two houses ally
what do you call an asain in between two houses with hes sheep ally bah bah
what do you call an asain with a peice of ham on hes head mohamhead
what do you call an asain in a freezer tough shit
what do you call an asain who came last in an olympic race randshit

An Irishman, Osama Bin Laden and an Englishman get granted a wish each from a genie.
The Irishman wishes for his land to be forever nourished and unspoilt.
Osama wishes for all his followers to be together and to have a huge wall surrounding them so they can be cut off from all western civilisation.
The Englishman looks at the genie and says "so tell me about this wall ?"
The genie says the wall is 5000 feet high, 5000 feet thick and there is no way in or out.
The Englishman grins, "Fill the fucker with water then".

nice one

mint